Friday, October 3, 2014

Parents And The School System

The United States is focusing on stopping bullying and discrimination in schools .

The LGBT Community,  The Community that is fighting racism and The Autism Community is being very proactive in fighting bullying and discrimination in schools .

But I have to say that I do Not see the SAME innitiative by parents and and schools !

No !  I will correct myself ! 

I do NOT see ENOUGH of the SAME innitiative by some parents and DEFINITELY 0 innitiative by some schools !

And by the way , I do not ave to be a parent to make such a statement.

I am actually experiencing this as I have an Autistic friend who is reaching out to a school in his home town and I am reaching out to parents to educate them about bullying.

And believe it or not , But parents have a LOT of exuses as to WHY they have no time to talk or have the said conversation !

And schools are simply saying ; We do our best to investigate incidents! 
Well , Geuss how they investigate ( Which is a metaphoric question) ?
They wait till actually an INCIDENT occurs and THEN they call the police !

I am personally shocked about their strategy ! .

Unfortunately there are very few parents who want to be involved !

I know this because I have tried reaching out to parents on a couple of occasions and they either look at me with sympathy or expect sympathy and or say they have to head to work !

There are for example very few parents who will say ; How do I support my autistic child or to whom should I talk to about m child being bullied for xyz ?

Unfortunately I hear mostly ; OMG !  This is horrible! 

And they go on with their day .

Just wanted to throw this out there !

Thank you for reading

Dusya .

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Term " Disrespect "

As usually I am talking again about Massachusetts because I live in Massachusetts .

I see on Facebook and in real life ( If so to speak) people using the term " Disrespect or disrespectful " when they disagree with someone's behavior or mannerisms !

Somebody is being rude or is yelling at another individual and instantly I read or hear someone say ; That was disrespectful !

A friend of mines was yelled at from her employer and her boyfriend said that she should write a complaint to the supervisor that her boss was disrespecting her .

From what my friend me ; Her boss was yelling at her , But was also regretting it at the same time because her boss was simply so overwhelmed with being forced to take on more responsibilities that that the said boss was unfortunately taking out the frustration on the employees :( !

My friend realized that , But was not sure what to do about the situation .

Her boyfriend insisted that she complain about being " Disrespected !"

In other instances I see on Facebook , If someone makes an inappropriate comment or rude comment then people instantly scream " That was disrespectful ! "

Seriously people !

I cannot remember ever hearing the early 90's or late 90's somebody complaining about disrespect !

I am not sure when this started , But it definitely started in an era when people started forgetting what boundaries are ( That is for sure ! ) .

Speaking of boundaries , People are either extending boundaries or complaining about too many boundaries and it makes me think that people apearantly do not even understand boundaries either !

Having said that , I am seeing posters on buses and trains talking about boundaries like not to litter on a seat or not to spread your germs while sneezing all over the place ( Sort of) .

I admit that I only started using regularly public transportation in 2008 ( Approx. ) , But still , I am seeing more and more of these posters !

And if that is not bad enough , If you accidentally step on someone's toe on the for instance and you did not pay attention , Then you are considered " Disrespectful " !

Appearntly nobody cares anymore if you are having a bad day or if you are overwhelmed or just simply not paying attention ( For whatever reason) . One wrong move , Tone or word and you are accused of being disrespectful and people give you a look like you are the devil personally ( I am not kidding ) !

I am 32 now and I remember very well that 10-20 years ago we did not have these issues !

Nobody thought of accusations or even yelling " That is disrespectful " or anything equivalent !

It never keens to perplex me !

Thank you for reading

Dusya .

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Equality , Equality And Fairness

It will not surprise me if people reading this title will get confused because obviously Equality and Fairness seem to be the same and there is no 2 definitions of equality .

But that is exactly the reason WHY I wrote Equality twice because people or at least those who work for Housing Authorities and other public departments and employment agencies or Human Resources people think or are convinced that they are treating people equally .

But that is wrong !

Equality means or is supposed to mean the work place for instance , That people who are either Senior Citizens or people with disabilities should have the same opportunity as people who are either able bodied or are simply able to do the tasks that they are required to do .

So for instance , If you have a job as receptionist then you are expected to sit a table and type on a computer and answer phone calls . So that is a job that definitely anyone can do in sitting, Correct ?

Well , What if there was a person in a wheel chair who could do this task ?

It sounds reasonable , But unfortunately the employer will disagree and give a reason as to inadequate space .

I find this reason ridiculous though because it does not really matter if the person can his or her legs or not . All the person needs to do anyway is sit at the desk !

Or another example , There is strange advertisement that shows a few children . 3 of the children are watching a baseball game over the fence , But there is a fourth child that cannot watch the game because the child is too small to look over .

So someone comes up with the idea to let the kid stand on 2 sets of boxes to watch the game . Sounds great , Right ?

But I have to tell you somebody would disagree and say that this kid is receiving extra privileges and that is not considered equal !

OK , Common sense people !

This kid is not having EXTRA privileges ! This kid is not paying $ 1000. 000 to watch a game and is receiving some special treatment ! This kid simply is using 2 set of boxes to watch a game over the fence !

I do not have enough hands to count how many kids do that !

What I am trying to say here is that people are misinterpreting the term EQUALITY !

Equality is about giving everyone in the group the same opportunity or chance and if somebody in the group is receiving help then it is about accommodating the individual due to a disability that should maybe not be disclosed !

It is not about extras or privileges !

Or why should a student who does extraordinary well not be given the chance to take advanced classes or even jump a class ? !

But apparently some schools or at least the school principles have issues with that because then the student is not treated equally like all the other students and the other parents will protest because their children are being treated unfair !

OK , Once again ! A child who does very well in a subject or generally in school deserves to be rewarded !

Am I wrong here ?

And again , I find equality great , But I am afraid that somebody did not quite understand what equality means .

Or another example ;

A mother has two girls and to treat them equally she gives both girls a hug , Kiss or a cookie at the same time to demonstrate to her girls that she loves them EQUALLY !

Another time though one of the girls brings her report card and has an A on her homework assignment !

Of course the mother will reward her little girl by giving her a $5 dollar bill . The other daughter sees her mother giving her sister a $ 5 dollar bill and cries because she wants one too . The mother explains then the her sister earned it because she brought an A on her homework !

The sister does not want to hear about that and only cares about the fact that her sister has a $ 5 dollar bill and says that it is not fair !

But her tells her then ; Listen , I love you and your sister very much and I promise you that when you bring home an A for your homework assignment then I will also give you a $ 5 dollar bill ! How would you like that :) ?

At this pint the little girl is smiling again and of course she is trying now harder in school and is paying more attention to the teachers because she wants a $ 5dollar bill as well ;) !

I hope these examples make sense ? !

Thank you for reading .

Dusya .

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Not Dead Yet

Hello Everyone ,

I know that the title sounds strange , But actually this is the name of a Non-Profit organization that is presided by disabled people who advocate for disabled people and terminaly ill people as well ( If I am mistaken by any of what I wrote then please feel free to correct me !) .

Terminally ill means people who are diagnosed with a disease that there is no cure for and will eventually die .

Many doctors right after pronouncing the deadly diagnosis offer suggestions to end of life care without even letting the patient grasp the information and decide what the said patient wants !

The organization Not dead yet is advocating for people rights to decide what the patient wants considering what the doctors said .

Unfortunately many doctors do not seem to grasp that they should focus on what the patient wants !

If a patients wants to be treated like he or she will live forever then that wish must be respected !

But unfortunately the doctors are more inclined to offer pitty and I personally find this disgusting !

Quality of life is about asking what the patient wants and how to accommodate the needs of the patient and not about what the doctors " Think" the patient needs ! .

The healthcare system is also supposed to be involved in this process meaning SUPPORT the needs of the patient and if the doctors do not agree then there must be made a compromise on behalf of the patient ! .

Thank you for reading .

Dusya .

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Health Care System

I am not sure about the rest of The U.S , But the healthcare system has obviously gone into chaos in the past 10-20 years !

The EMT was responsible for bringing a patient into the hospital and if needed performing CPR or resuscitation .

Now I hear that the EMT is not allowed to do CPR on a patient !

I am shocked and outraged !

What is the EMT good for if they do not save lives anymore ? !

That was their primary job !

It is outrageous to what the healthcare system has developed to or decreased to ( Which is a better wording and expression ) .

Thank you for reading .

Dusya .

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Being Autistic means sensing the world differently than the mains stream poppulation .

There are a lot of Disability / Advocacy organizations that advocate with and on behalf of disabled people .

One of the poppulation I want to talk about though is Autistic people ( People with Autism) .

Because Autistic people sense the world differently than the mainstream poppulation , Many or some Autistic people will probably struggle with hospitals and the policy of most hospitals because many hospitals are not able to accommodate the specific needs of someone who is Autistic due to their hospital policies !

If an Autistic person was to struggle with comfort issues in a hospital bed for instance , The staff would be ignoring or saying " To get over it " because they cannot accommodate certain needs like a flat bed or sensory friendly pillows .

The hospital beds and equipment are made for all patients without exceptions .

If an Autistic person was not able to do ADL skills due to sensory issues , Again the hospital cannot accommodate the needs because these " Needs " are unique .

We really need to approach the Administration and see how we can negotiate a positive hospital stay for someone who is either on the spectrum or has characteristics of an Autistic person .

Although again , The Administration will find an excuse like " No funding to train Medical Staff" .

Lord , Please help this world !

Thank you for reading .

Dusya .

Monday, July 14, 2014

Healthcare For Everyone

I realize that the title sounds strange , Because healthcare is for everyone anyway and that is also what I learned during my medical classes , But I noticed something interesting !

When you have a patient in the hospital , I should say a new patient and this patient is un identified because there is no State I.D or anything else that could indicate the identity of the new patient then the medical staff gives the patient a current name till the actual identity is being investigated .

Sounds reasonable , BUT ! What you are not being thought is that when a person has no proper identification then there are limitations with the healthcare insurance and then the new patient has LIMITED healthcare !

And when a patient has LIMITED healthcare then the services being provided are only for emergency medicine .

Emergency medicine also maybe sounds reasonable , But you really should ask what exactly is limited healthcare because you will seriously be shocked to hear about HOW LIMITED healthcare then is ( I am not joking nor am I being sarcastic ! ) !.

Imagine you had a bump on your head and you do not remember anything about yourself and you are either found and brought to the ER or you manage to get to the nearest ER on your own if you are strong or lucky enough .
Now imagine that you are at the ER and you are being asked for an identification or I.D and you look at anything on your clothes that remotely looks like pockets , But you cannot find anything !

And the nurse or whoever looks at you funny and asks you again for your information and again you just look back and you will be maybe perceived as being a smart ass , But you are not . You just have no idea who you are !

The nurse then and the rest of the healthcare team will start examining you and they will call the security or the security will callthe police to get someone involved to find who the heack you are .

The police comes and starts asking you questions , But you are not able to answer.

Then after the examination they bring you to a room and maybe they will take your finger prints to see if you are maybe a criminal .

Then the police comes maybe 2 days later and you are appearantly not a criminal !

Then again , Who are you ? !

You still have no memory of you are and what happened .

After a week , Nothing is really done and nobody really knows who you are even using pictures of you posting on Facebook and other media sources , But still not much luck !

Since you have no proper identity , You are given a current name , But because you have no proper identification you have now limited health insurance and in this case Masshealth supposedly gives you universal healthcare or however they call it , You still only get limited medical help because you are not properly identified meaning if you need medical help then you need to have a proper identity even with Masshealth .

I just wanted to put this out there .

Thank you for reading .

Dusya .

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Doctor's 50 years ago and nowadays in 2014

This new post blog is maybe a continuation of the blog post I recently posted about the health care system .

I am not sure how many people remember the TV show " Medicine Woman" , But that show pretty much describes what a doctor should and must be like !

I have seen plenty of shows where doctors had dignity , Respect and patient and were effective communicators with their patient . Medicine Woman , The Bill Cosby Show , M.A S.C.H , Emergency room and I could really go on and on , But I will not because my pint is simply that these doctors would do what they can to save a patient's life and help a patient and if there was an issue with communication ( For whatever reason) then the doctors worked on fixing the issue by reaching out to family members and other .But the said doctors would never say " I am just doing my job" .

Even if you tell me that I should ignore all the shows I have just mentioned because those are " Just shows and have nothing to do reality " , Well , I have news for you ; I have expanded experience in the medical field from June , 18, 1999 - 2014 and I can tell you that when I was a child , Doctors were courteous and when I grew up and eventually started myself a career in the medical field , The doctors were courteous too !

So excuse my language in advance , But the B.S with the doctors must have started somewhere in 2000 or 2009 .

When I was a child , You got asked why you wanted to be a doctor and some children would say because they wanted to help people . I remember also that other children wanted to become doctor's but then changed their decision and wanted to become a lawyer because they they could afford a nice sports car ( But oh well Lol ) .

Nowadays I rarely see or meet doctors who really want to help .
It is more about having a nice paycheck !

OK , Seriously ! You want to have a nice paycheck ? OK , Nothing wrong with that . Just change your career path !

Study to become a lawyer or accountant / Work at a bank or engineer ! Those jobs offer great paychecks !

Or go to the military and see how you do !

But if you are a doctor and keep saying " I am just doing my job" then you have to leave that job because you are subconsciously murdering your patients !

I know that doctors do not mean to step on my or anyone else's feet , But you are doing it and you have to look maybe even for a job that is not people oriented .

And if the administration at the hospitals seriously support doctors or even patient advocates want to defend doctors then we need to URGENTLY change the health care system at large !

The hospitals obviously have the same policy like fast food restaurants meaning " Get urgent care done and see ya" .

No wonder people nowadays are sicker then they were 30 years ago !

30 years ago , You were sick and you stayed in the hospital till everyone who was part of the care team agreed that you were ready to be discharged and you also agreed , But nowadays the doctors decide if you are ready and you just follow what they say .

This is horrific !

I have this time even a witness when the doctor said " I am just doing my job" and I am glad that the witness was present and was horrified by that particular statement as well !

I am glad that I had a witness because I felt validated and assured that my concerns were taken seriously !

You are supposed to practice effective communication in the medical field ( That is what you get told every single day when you study medicine ) and I was trained in different medical fields and so was my witness and we both were shocked !

As I said earlier , This policy that hospitals have nowadays is not working !

It is actually killing patients and I am not exaggerating !

Thank you for reading

Dusya .

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Emotional Autistic person vs . Emotional Non - Autistic person

This past month has been extremely overwhelming for me that sometimes I felt like screaming !

I rather not go into detail about what happened , But it was a lot and I am still processing .

Yesterday I was volunteering with the Red Cross and we were representing the veterans who have returned back to the U.S .

And I was listening to a conversation between my boss and another staff member after we were done with our project and the said staff member said that xe was impressed that our project went better than xe had expected !

The staff person was actually relieved and confessed xe was afraid that something could go wrong and my boss said and I quote " We all go through that " My boss also said that there is always a concern " What if ? !" But if you only focus on the " What if" then you will never try and never get anything done ( Which is true as a matter of fact ! ) .

But my point is that my boss and the rest of the group is non Autistic ( Nobody on the Spectrum) and they were openly discussing that they were afraid / Worried .

I realize that you will think now " OK , So what is so significant about the fact that the group was worried ? Everyone gets worried .

And that is exactly what I want to point out ! That EVERYBODY worries about something !

Non - Autistic people worry about things on a daily basis !

It is part of life !

But the issue is that although Autistic people worry , Many people on the spectrum are afraid of worrying !

I am not saying that all Autistic people are afraid of worrying , But many are and also afraid of being emotional because many Autistics sense emotions more intense than non - Autistics.

Many Autistic individuals learned throughout their child hood and adolescent years that if something is different about them then it is because " You are on the spectrum " . So some Autistic learned that having emotions is something related to their spectrum , But nobody really explained that it is not the emotion that is unique it is more about HOW you perceive the emotion !

I have the impression that non - Autistic people perceive their emotions on a scale of 1-5 ( Maybe ) , But for an Autistic it can be 5-10 ! No matter what the feeling is .

And the emotion gets so intense that you just stand there or stare at nothing but everything and you are being perceived than as an " Autistic who has no emotions whatsoever " .

So if somebody who is trustworthy could explain that it is OK to feel the way you do and show compassion if the emotion is too intense then the Autistic individual would not be scared of having emotions. And at the same time could learn coping techniques .

I assure you that this would also help Autistics deal with meltdowns / Nervous breakdowns !

Thank you for reading .

Dusya .

Monday, June 30, 2014

The Health Care system and the difference between Senior Citizens And Autistic individuals

I realize that anybody reading the title will be either wondering or find it offensive that I am making a comparison between senior citizens and Autistic individuals .

Well there is a lot of stigma and false ideas / Notions about Autism anyway but that would be then a bit of another discussion topic ( In my opinion ) .

Anyway , Before you start screaming me at me for being ignorant , Ableist or whatever else please just read and digest !

So believe it or not but there are similarities between Autistics and senior citizens !

Senior Citizens are very sensitive people due to their mentality ( Not all , But many) .

Senior Citizens are very sensitive meaning you should be patient with them , Be a good listener , Understanding and let them go at their pace .

They can have issues with their fine or general motor. Skills , Get quickly exhausted , Not be able to process information fast enough , Not be able to get dressed on their own or cannot drive , Be sensitive to touch and be panicky if you speak loud or yell at them . At the same time there are senior citizens who have a sharp mind , But have difficulties articulating themselves the way the society expects them to .

I think I could go on with the list , But I rather not .

I just want to point out that some Autistic individuals have similar issues .

I realized also just recently that there are hospitals that actually treat patients with respect , You just have to search for the said hospital .

Autism advocates are advocating for Autistic individuals to be treated with respect and dignity in the medical setting , But that seems to be a real issue although it should not meaning it should be obvious that patients are being treated with respect and dignity !

And I am sad to inform you that my experience is that Senior Citizens are also not being treated with respect and dignity and I am not sure what the right expression would be to describe what I think about that !

Disasterous or outrageous ? !

Senior Citizens are being as neglecting treated as Autistics and I have to say ; How can you expect to advocate for Autistics if some hospitals do not even care much about Senior Citizens ? !

I do not have anything else to say more at this point .

Thank you for reading .

Dusya .

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Doctors Nowadays And 40 years ago And the mentality of our society

I am not ware of what life is like nowadays in the entire U.S so I am not able to say " This is what is happening in the United States , But I do see a lot of what is happening in Massachusetts more specifically in Boston and I am assuming that what I see in Boston is also happening in the rest of Massachusetts .

40 years ago doctors were meant to be kind ( If possible ) and sympathetic and empathize and they were like that for 100's of years !

Even when I was a child in the 80's and early 90's doctors seemed to be compassionate and understanding and really concerned about the well being of a patient .

Nowadays though I am not only observing that the medical establishment acts like a fast food restaurant , But some doctors really do not care about ethics or how to communicate with a patient !

There are laws about health care proxies and how to communicate with a patient when you need to share bad news .

But apparently doctors have no idea about the above mentioned laws nor have they ever heard about communication and I am saying this because I see it with my own eyes !

It is beyond me for instance how a doctor can tell a patient straight up that the said patient is going to die and then expect that the patient will not get upset or have any emotion whatsoever about the mentioned news !

The reason that I do not understand this is probably because I do not understand The mentality of people in Massachusetts !

Or is it just Boston ? !

They have social workers and case managers to talk to family members and the patient themselves , But the social workers and and the case managers do not seem to be of much use because whatever the doctor does or sais seems to be the law !

I am wondering if it has something to do with how the hospital administration works . Maybe the hospital administration needs to be addressed and see if something can be changed or improved !

Thank you for reading .

Dusya .

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Our Society And It's Relationship To Emotions !

I am not sure or aware how people in NY , California or other U.S states relate to their emotions , But I see everyday in Massachusetts or more specifically in Boston that people either repress their emotions or pretend they that they do not have any feelings at all like as if they are robots !

I say this because it always puzzles me to see that people do not even acknowledge when they are happy or sad and I have indeed seen people getting sad or happy and in the next minute go on with their life like nothing happened .

Approximately 3 months ago In February I was graduating from a course in leadership and self advocacy and law and I was thinking about attending an additional workshop that was similar to the class I was graduating from , But was not completely the same in terms of that there was no focus on the law .

So I was not sure if I wanted to take the workshop but I was thinking about it and I got a phone call from one of the Secretarys who takes care of the payment of the course and asked me if I was ready to register and I told then the Secretary that I was not sure that I could make it in that month because I was graduating for another class 3 days earlier and the Secretary asked me then what the issue was .

So I repeated that I was graduating from my class just a few days before the workshop would start and the Secretary then seriously asked me again what the concern was !

I was totally perplexed ! I responded to the Secretary in saying ; Excuse me , I just said that I am graduating from my class just a few days earlier so I am not sure that I can start right after that a new class !  The said secretary was not comprehending why I did not feel ready to start a new workshop right after my graduation and that totally shocked me !

I did not have words so I said that I would call back later and finally she agreed . But my point is if I am graduating from a class how can anyone expect me or any other soon to be graduate to just go ahead and go to a new workshop ? !

I mean , I am graduating and I want to celebrate and enjoy life with family and friends ! I have no intention right after graduating to just go on with my life ! I am not a robot !

Or if someone gets married then the said couple should enjoy their new marriage and go on a honeymoon and not just get married and go back to work on the next day and say ; Hey , I am married , But oh well I have to have a meal on the table .

And the same with mourning ! Somebody dies and the family and friends should have time to grieve ! But no ! Nowadays appearantly , You go today to a funeral and the next day you go back to work like nothing happened !

I am sorry , But this does not make sense to me !

I can understand if you are telling a sick patient that everything will be alright , But telling a person who maybe got raped or anything similar worse that " Life happens" OK , Excuse me ! But I do not comprehend this at all !

I am not even sure when this emotion policing started ! Yes , I call this emotion policing because it seems to me that the society decides how people should perceive their emotions and or if they should acknowledge their emotions at all .

I am not sure , Maybe this started when people got more focused on using technology . No let me correct myself ! Maybe this started when people got more focused on work thanks to modern technology like using their laptops , Iphone and or smartphone at the same time like the work industry expects employees to be ready 24/7 and many employees need to be available for their boss on call and or 24/7 .

I really do not know . But it scares me !

I want to smile ! I want to be happy ! I want to be able to cry from happiness ! I want to be able to cry because I am sad !

I want to enjoy the moment of being with my family and friends ! These moments are precious human moments !

Being able to walk in the garden and enjoy the fresh breeze or look and admire the beautiful flowers .

I want to be aware and acknowledge and be in tune with my environment to appreciate mother nature !

Am I really asking too much ? !

Thank you for reading !

Dusya .

Friday, May 9, 2014

Non Autistic parents of Autistic children VS Autistuc parents of Autistic children

OK , Before I start I want make clear that I realize that for some people the title may sound strange because a lot of people cannot imagine that Autistic adults can also be parents . But I can assure these people that it is indeed possible as Albert Einstein was autistic and had 2 children ( I think) and there are plenty of other autistics out there who have children and people perceive them as simply being eccentric .

So now let me go to the actual topic .

Although there are many non autistic parents who welcome feedback from adult autistics to better understand their kid or children , There also plenty of non autistic parents who do not want to reach out to autistic adults or are afraid or feel uncomfortable ( At least this is what I am perceiving ) .

A young woman who represents the Autistic - Self - Advocacy of New England went to an event yesterday on The Boston Common that is called The ARC .

This woman met with an old friend who has a son who has Aspergers and they actually had a nice chat .

Later on this woman spoke to a man who has Aspergers and he was let me say it was obvious that he is on the Spectrum because he had a couple of traits of Aspergers and I do not really want to go into detail about this .

But anyway , This woman was talking to him and then met his mother and his sibling and the partner of the sibling . But to get the point out it was strange when this woman said that she represents ASAN ( Which is described above) .

I was strange because this woman did not any obvious traits that would instantly point to The Autism Spectrum !

And I probably should be asking actuall parents about this , But I am not sure yet how to articulate my question .

I just want to say I had suddenly the notion that maybe parents who do not reach out to Autistic adults that it is because when they see an adult who obviously functions better than their adult son / Daughter that they feel emotionally overwhelmed .

It is maybe like a slap in the face for them and especially a mother looks at a seemingly functional adult and asks herself " If that person is autistic , How come my child is not like that ? ! " and because it does not make sense the said parent will then not accept that the said adult is autistic and think that it is not true and be in denial ( For a lack of wording) .

The concept that each Autistic is different and an individual and every autistic person has a bit of another brain is just not easy to comprehend !

Many people have the notion of Autistics that they do constantly something innapropiate like make noises that are unnecessary and or just do things that are not considered " Normal" But people do not grasp that each autistic is different and that an autistic individual can maybe make strange noises during their child hood or teenage years , But when they grow older they stop or do something different and they do not understand that this is something that is called stimming .

I know for instance an autistic adult who rocks back and fort and people may find it strange , But it is simply a way of stimming meaning calming yourself down when you feel stressed .

I wish some parents would be willing to get more education regarding Autism and not just sit with what they learned out of school books .

I have to say that I am still processing this !

Thank you for reading

DUSYA .

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Autism Awareness Day vs. Autism Acceptance And Understanding Day

It is Autism Awareness Day / Month and I do realize that my title sounds strange because it seems to be the same , But I realized yesterday more than ever that is actually not the same !

I was yesterday at a meeting in Sommerville City Hall because a new friend / Associate of mines is working on a house that is supposed to be a residents for Autistic adults and other adults with developmental disabilities and the people of Sommerville , MA are strongly opposed to this idea / Project .

I will not present any names involved , But I want to say that I admire this friend for her persistence and determination to fight for the right thing !

I was listening to the council who was advocating for the people of Sommerville , MA and I was disgusted and insulted to say the least about the so called concerns of these people !

These people were or are concerned about the residents of this potential house having visitors and seriously also wanted to know what the residents would be doing during the day and what time these residents would be waking up and other absurdities .

They are seriously concerned that these autistic adults would have parents and or friends visiting them !

OK , First of all these are Autistic " Adults " and as we all know adults do not really appreciate their parents visiting them !

Having said that , I am a 32 year old adult and I see my mother only 2 times a week or less , I have a life !

Also what these autistic adults " Do during the day ?"

Ok , Seriously , What do these people think adults " Do " during the day ? !

I mean , Maybe I am missing the point here , But seriously !

Listening to all these and other so called concerns , I had to start wondering if these people actually know the difference between Autistic adults and crocodiles ? !

I mean , Autistic adults are human beings like everyone else !

They have legs , Arms , feet and hands and are made out of flesh !

They are not bed bugs or whatever else these people have in mind !

You know , Listening to all these so called concerns made me realize that we are definitely far beyond Awareness for Autism !

These people heard of autism in the most creepiest versions ( For a lack of better wording ) and would probably drop dead from shock if someone told them that their next door neighbors could be Autistic ( I am half kidding , Half serious ) !

So Autism Understanding and Acceptance is definitely more valid than just Awareness !

Thank you for reading !

Dusya .

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Difference between The American With Disability Act , The Rehabilitation Law and the Olmstead law

I am studying right now the American With Disability Act for a course that I am taking and I was listening yesterday to a presentation / Intro about the said law .

Today while I was doing my homework I decided to look at the projects that some of my other classmates are working on like the Civil rights law , The Rehabilitation Law and the Olmstead law .

Now I did the said homework , But I am confused !

I am confused about why the Rehabilitation , The Olmstead and the ADA law are  different laws and why they are not being combined ? !

The ADA law is there to protect people with disabilities , The Rehabilitation law is to help and support disabled individuals or people with disabilities ( No offense to anyone) who are able to work and or want to work .

The Olmstead law is to help people with mental disabilities or Physical disabilities to who are in institutions or were in institutions to provide them with the support they need to be productive and happy members of the society by helping them get housing .

There is also appearantly a law or something equivalent for the elderly population 65+ .

Although in Washington D.C they seem to have these laws handled and implemented or to use better wording , They appearantly have been successful with these laws , But I do not actually see this same sucess here in Massachusetts !

In Massachusetts , or at least in the the greater Boston area , These laws have not been successfully used for the most citizens of Boston .

I am actually talking here about what I am observing and experiencing because I live in Boston .

Senior Citizens are in nursing homes and equivalent environments and indeed I see that they are being helped so that they can stay in their apartments and get help by visiting nurses , But again there is a funding issue !

Regarding Mentally ill people or let me say people who are not able to function completely in society live in shelters and I mean Homeless Shelters ( I am not making this up ) and the list for section 8 is extremely long because people who go to shelters are people who have history of drug abuse , Alcohol abuse , or domestic violence , Mental issue as I mentioned above and there are other people who just simply lost their apartment for reasons that are beyond their control .

They do have supportive housing , But these supportive housing have social workers who had minimum training in terms of that they did not study the law or psychology or at least get the said training and so it is hard to really provide the needed support for the said individuals .

I think I got off topic !

My point is why cannot the ADA , The Olmstead law and the Rehabilitation law be combined so that the state Massachusetts has more money to finance housing and education for social workers ?

Because it is all separated , I have the impression that a lot of issues are being missed while there are supposed to be overseen and chaos is happening !

There are so many departments for each issue that concerns Massachusetts that it is ending in a chaos that nobody can control or has at least minimum control over !

Too many people responsible and nobody is getting anything done because either they assume that the other person will take care of everything or they think that the problem is not a big deal and do not think into the future and then when they have a mess , They will not admit that they failed or did not know what to do and then everybody forgets about it !

Thank you for reading

DUSYA .

Monday, January 20, 2014

The Difference Between Bullying And Mental , Verbal and or Emotional Abuse

Although I posted the above title , I want to state that I do not see a difference between Mental and or verbal abuse and bullying !

I realize that people who will read this will say ; Why did you post that as a title then ?! That does not make sense !

Well , The reason I posted the above said title is because I see that people either think there is a difference or are not sure if there is a difference or want to know if there is a difference .

I have to say for myself that the legislation is making it very confusing to understand if there is a difference or not ( But that is maybe just me ) .

I think I am getting off topic here and I appologize for that !

So let's start from the beginning !

Everybody know what Violence is at least what is Domestic violence .

If not then let me elaborate ; Domestic violence is when you are being hit or kicked in any of your body parts from the person you live with . It can be a parent , sibling or romantic partner or even a room mate ( Believe it or not !) .

So that is actually called physical violence that can happen at home .

I am not sure if physical violence is also considered bullying , But people who will read this are free to correct me .

Now let's go to mental abuse ; Mental abuse is when you are being belittled and or being yelled at in a private environment where there is no witnesses and you have little or no opportunity to defend / Advocate for yourself or even if you do advocate for yourself then you are either being ignored or yelled even more at !

Emotional abuse is also done either in an open environment or privately so there is again no witnesses .

You are at this point actually being belittled in terms of you feel that you are not welcome , You are stupid , You get the F** ** *  vibes ( Excuse my language !) And you just get the idea !

Verbal Abuse is when you are actually verbally being told that you are not good for anything etc ....

Now I want to point out what is actually obvious , But I should throw this out there ; All the versions of abuse that I mentioned here can happen openly or in private !

Meaning If you are being physically abused , You can at least prove it no matter if it was done in a private environment or publicly because whatever is done to your skin , People , Doctor's or anybody can see it !

If you have a black eye or broken nose , You cannot hid it ( Unless maybe when it is winter ) !

If you have burns or scars or anything on your arm or leg , You can hide it but your doctors and nurses can see it !

Sexual abuse is also visible if you go to a Gynecologist !

Now mental , Emotional and verbal abuse is not visible unless it happened to you in front of witnesses !

And if you are being mentally , Emotionally and or verbally abused and you have no witnesses , ( This is maybe hard to believe ) then no one will take you serious or provide support in terms of helping you press charges because it is your word against the abuser .

And we all know that abusers never do anything in front of witnesses !

Now let's talk about bullying !

Although I have a lot of experience with being bullied , I am aware that everybody's experience is different and will disagree with my notion of being bullied .

After describing mental , Verbal and emotional abuse , I am not sure if there is a real difference . I mean I think that they actually go hand in hand !

If I am being yelled at because the person who is yellin.g wants to have control over me or wants me to be scared of the said person , That can be considered bullying and or even mental abuse .

Or if I am in class and I know that my professor does not like me and shows it to me whenever the said person looks at me , But makes sure that nobody else sees it then it is suddle bullying and I forgot to mention that when I am in class I try not speak or do anything to show that I am in class because I am afraid that he will give me the evil eye .

Or tries to stare me down so that I feel guilty although I did not even say peep ! Is that not called bullying ? !

So as I said , I am not sure that there is an actuall difference between bullying and abuse .

And this happens everywhere !

At school , College , Work and even where you live !

So even talking about this or educating is from my point of view not enough !

We should really think further !

Meaning what laws we need or what to do if you cannot prove something !

And let me tell you ; Going to a Councelor is not enough or an option !

Or even offering anti depression meds !

I will stop now because I am not able to process what else I want to say about this .

Thank you for reading !

DUSYA .