Monday, January 20, 2014

The Difference Between Bullying And Mental , Verbal and or Emotional Abuse

Although I posted the above title , I want to state that I do not see a difference between Mental and or verbal abuse and bullying !

I realize that people who will read this will say ; Why did you post that as a title then ?! That does not make sense !

Well , The reason I posted the above said title is because I see that people either think there is a difference or are not sure if there is a difference or want to know if there is a difference .

I have to say for myself that the legislation is making it very confusing to understand if there is a difference or not ( But that is maybe just me ) .

I think I am getting off topic here and I appologize for that !

So let's start from the beginning !

Everybody know what Violence is at least what is Domestic violence .

If not then let me elaborate ; Domestic violence is when you are being hit or kicked in any of your body parts from the person you live with . It can be a parent , sibling or romantic partner or even a room mate ( Believe it or not !) .

So that is actually called physical violence that can happen at home .

I am not sure if physical violence is also considered bullying , But people who will read this are free to correct me .

Now let's go to mental abuse ; Mental abuse is when you are being belittled and or being yelled at in a private environment where there is no witnesses and you have little or no opportunity to defend / Advocate for yourself or even if you do advocate for yourself then you are either being ignored or yelled even more at !

Emotional abuse is also done either in an open environment or privately so there is again no witnesses .

You are at this point actually being belittled in terms of you feel that you are not welcome , You are stupid , You get the F** ** *  vibes ( Excuse my language !) And you just get the idea !

Verbal Abuse is when you are actually verbally being told that you are not good for anything etc ....

Now I want to point out what is actually obvious , But I should throw this out there ; All the versions of abuse that I mentioned here can happen openly or in private !

Meaning If you are being physically abused , You can at least prove it no matter if it was done in a private environment or publicly because whatever is done to your skin , People , Doctor's or anybody can see it !

If you have a black eye or broken nose , You cannot hid it ( Unless maybe when it is winter ) !

If you have burns or scars or anything on your arm or leg , You can hide it but your doctors and nurses can see it !

Sexual abuse is also visible if you go to a Gynecologist !

Now mental , Emotional and verbal abuse is not visible unless it happened to you in front of witnesses !

And if you are being mentally , Emotionally and or verbally abused and you have no witnesses , ( This is maybe hard to believe ) then no one will take you serious or provide support in terms of helping you press charges because it is your word against the abuser .

And we all know that abusers never do anything in front of witnesses !

Now let's talk about bullying !

Although I have a lot of experience with being bullied , I am aware that everybody's experience is different and will disagree with my notion of being bullied .

After describing mental , Verbal and emotional abuse , I am not sure if there is a real difference . I mean I think that they actually go hand in hand !

If I am being yelled at because the person who is yellin.g wants to have control over me or wants me to be scared of the said person , That can be considered bullying and or even mental abuse .

Or if I am in class and I know that my professor does not like me and shows it to me whenever the said person looks at me , But makes sure that nobody else sees it then it is suddle bullying and I forgot to mention that when I am in class I try not speak or do anything to show that I am in class because I am afraid that he will give me the evil eye .

Or tries to stare me down so that I feel guilty although I did not even say peep ! Is that not called bullying ? !

So as I said , I am not sure that there is an actuall difference between bullying and abuse .

And this happens everywhere !

At school , College , Work and even where you live !

So even talking about this or educating is from my point of view not enough !

We should really think further !

Meaning what laws we need or what to do if you cannot prove something !

And let me tell you ; Going to a Councelor is not enough or an option !

Or even offering anti depression meds !

I will stop now because I am not able to process what else I want to say about this .

Thank you for reading !