Friday, June 21, 2019

PTSD , Depression and suicide hotlines

Before I start , I want to clarify that I am NOT anti medication or against anti depressants or other equivalent medication !

I am working a lot with depression right now . people who have depression and I myself have experienced depression every once in a while .

A couple of years ago I was living with a room mate . I had two different room mates actually within 3 years .  I am not saying that I am perfect by all means . I do want to point out that both room mates harassed me to The degree that I stayed away from our apartment as much as possible and only was home when it was time for bed . Both my room mates had issues . I have no idea about my first room mate , but my second room mate was on medication . I know that because she tried to poison me twice by mixing one of her medications into my soda bottles . I never complained or said anything because I could not prove it and I could not afford to go to The police to investigate without an obvious evidence .
Anyways , I was in a living situation and could not move out to a better place . due to my finances that was not an option . My only refugee or place where i could go to breath when I was stressed out from this room mate nonsense was either doing my volunteering or hanging out at a shelter where people keep to themselves a lot .

I had once a psychiatrist who subscribed to me anti depressants . I never took them though because i did not see The point in taking said medication when I was feeling panic due to my room mate situation .  Yes , I felt depressed and I felt worthless . I sensed that my room mate did not tolerate me breathing in her presence . I called the suicide hotline and I called the Samaritin to have somebody to talk to . 30 minutes tops The time they were willing to listen to me .

I am not sharing this for sympathy . I am sharing to tell you that I KNOW what depression is .

People in today's society think that if somebody is depressed / PTSD or other " It is just depression "

From a medical perspective I know that there are two causes for depression . One cause is something in the brain that is clicking right ( For a lack of better words) , the other one is that we as a society are causing depression as well .

I am not saying EVERYBODY I know is causing depression , I am talking about our society .

You know The saying " you have no idea what a particular person is going through " ?
Let me go deeper . When you ignore a person during a conversation , When you ignore a person who maybe needs a seat on The bus , Train or other , When you are driving fast and ignoring The street lights although you really have no reason to rush and a pedestrian is not able to cross the street because you ignore that person , When a person is ignored in any setting where they are trying to get services , all these scenarios make a person feel not wanted .

When you are in The system and have to rely on government assistance , You feel hopeless because of all The restrictions . Whatever State you live in , There is a restriction as to how much you are allowed to receive in foods tamps  ( I cannot get used to the term " snap benefits sorry ! ), SSI or SSDI . They put sometimes unreasonable restrictions on to you and sometimes they will give you more assistance and feels like a lottery win . When you have to manage living / Having fun despite all these challenges it is hard ! It is not impossible to travel / have fun , You have to get creative though .

Todays society is thought that if you feel lonely or depressed then it is because you have mental illness .

Sorry but here are too many grey areas ! 

If you are being abused in any shape or form or being neglected , You are not making it up ! it is really happening to you ! You are developing mental illness from from struggling for survival . You develop anxiety , PTSD / Trauma and I assure you it is NOT IN YOUR HEAD !

If you are being treated like you are just a number without human dignity then you are not making this up . It is really happening to you !

And if you actually have a good life and have mental health issues , I do respect that . I simply do not respect The fact that everybody gets anti depressant thrown in their mouth because of their mental health issues .

I wish doctors would get to the bottom of depression ( what is causing it ? ) and not just give you medicine .  The psychiatrist who prescribed anti depressant knew about my room mate situation and gave me said medication so that I " forget my situation " or something like that .

Although I was never forced to take said medication , It makes me cringe that as soon as you have depression or  other then you instantly get prescribed meds.

I repeat ; Depression is NOT THAT SIMPLE !

I personally cannot do much about this because I am not part of The psychiatric society or whatever they are called . But because I do work in holistic medicine I know for a fact that there are different approaches and medication is NOT The only way .

I am done with my rant .


Thank you


Dusya


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