Saturday, November 23, 2013

Disabled people vs. Non disabled people

I will not go into detail where I was today , But I will say that I was at a Leadership Conference for disabled women and that was an amazing and inspirational experience :) !

I am not sure that it would be a good idea to disclose the names of the speakers at this conference , But I definitely want to share what they said and what I learned and liked .

In the disability community we fairly know the phrase " Nothing about us without us "

Today I heard the same phrase and also a tiny re-phrasing of that piece and this re-phrasing was not worse or better , But just as good !

The phrase I heard today was " Nothing without us "

So when you read the phrase " Nothing about us without us " it means , Do not make any decisions about or for disabled people without disabled people !

The phrase " Nothing without us " means disabled people need to be included and it should and must be obvious that disabled people be included in everything that concerns society !

I also heard something else interesting !

The society does not like saying " A disabled person " instead people rather say " A person with a disability "

Although I understand that the society is making these so called corrections to not insult disabled people , But here is a question that comes to my mind ; Why cannot disabled people decide how they want to be called ?

If an autistic person wants to call him or herself autistic instead of calling him or herself a person who has autism ,  Why does the society want to correct that person ? !

Disabled people are the ones who are supposed to decide what they feel compfortable with and not the society !

The only responsibility or duty that the society has is to include everybody in the decision making .

So if the society wants to show respect , Understanding and acceptance for disabled people then all the society has to do is listen and accommodate and respect the wishes of disabled people .

Because if an autistic person is requesting a particular accommodation or wants to be called autistic , Why are people saying no to that ?

Autistic people know what they are talking about !

Include everybody into our society and we will be able to appreciate eachother's gifts and create a better community !

Thank you for reading .

DUSYA

Monday, November 4, 2013

Bigotry And Ignorance

I am fed up !

Every time an individual in a hospital or jail or elsewhere kills him/ herself , The Management or other authorities say that they are sorry and that there was no indication that the said individual was struggling and so nobody could predict or immagine that "This" would happen .

Wrong !

If a person kills xerself then that means that there were plenty of indications !

The person before killing oneself was screaming for help , Was asking and or requesting for any help that exists , But the person was not Listened too !

The person was simply Ignored and or simply told to be patient and that Everything will go Well or that it is " Just your immagination " !

I am telling you right now !

If a person feels scared , Threatened or both then you Must take it seriously !

I do not care even if that person takes medication !

And if you think that the person is someone who does take medication , Then educate yourself about the individual ASAP !

Talk to the individual about his or her fears and ask if he or she takes meds and ask the nurse or anybody who works close with the person if the person takes meds !

But talk the person ASAP and Never say ; We will take of everything , Now you just destract yourself with something that you enjoy and everything will be fine "

Never Ever say that , Because that is a sign that you are Not taking the concerns or fears of the person seriously !

Any outhority that treats the person the way I described is Guilty of the suicide of the person !

I do not care if you are just "Doing your job" or if you say that you have a load of casework , You are Still guilty !

I am obviously very angry while I write this , But I am writing this because I know this happens a lot due to " Beurocracy ) and I am writing also about what I have experienced or seen .

And in case I did not make my self clear enough , This concerns all dead individuals including people with a variety of disabilities including Autistics !

Thank you for reading

DUSYA .

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Perspectives: DISCRIMINATION

Perspectives: DISCRIMINATION: With this new blog post , I am reaching out to DESPERATE parents and to Human services ! Concentration camps were created in the mid 30&qu...

DISCRIMINATION

With this new blog post , I am reaching out to DESPERATE parents and to Human services !

Concentration camps were created in the mid 30"s of The 20th century in Europe by Adolf Hitler

to get ride of / Kill Jews , Disabled , People who did NOT agree with the Government , People who did not fit with the IDEAL WORLD of Adolf Hitler , But generally JEWS !

You would think that the world has learned from this TRAGEDY and naturally we think or assume that we will NEVER have  this again and or that we are CIVIL  enough to PREVENT something like this EVER happening again !

UNFORTUNATELY that is NOT the case !

NOW , Believe it or not ; We have a MODERN version of the concentration camp in The U.S !

We do NOT have CONCENTRATION CAMPS ( PHYSICALLY speaking ) , But it is happening in the HOMES of DESPERATE parents of Autistic / Disabled children !

Parents who are apparently NOT getting ANY SUPPORT from Human Services / Social Services !

And in case there is any misunderstanding , I am NOT talking about ALL parents who have Autistic /Disabled children ; I am talking about DESPERATE parents , Parents SOOOO  DESPERATE  that they find it NECESSARY to ENCOURAGE their child to DRINK AMONIA , DISH LIQUID or other substances or even LOCK their child in the BASEMENT in a CAGE COMPLETELY NEGLECTED and ABANDONED ( EVEN WORSE than a pet )  !

I have NOT enough words to express how OUTRAGED I am !

I am OUTRAGED that a HUMAN BEING can be TREATED like this !

YES ! You read CORRECTLY !  Autistic / Disabled children are HUMAN BEINGS !

Being Autistic / Disabled does NOT mean you are not human , It just means  that you see look at the world DIFFERENTLY , Have MORE insight to issues than other"s have and that you need maybe assistants with getting dressed or driving a car , But that is about it .

I am OUTRAGED about these parents , BUT ! I find it EVEN MORE OUTRAGEOUS  that WHY this is happening ! Meaning it is NOT completely the fault of the parents or NOT ONLY the PARENTS who MUST be PERSECUTED  ! We ALSO have to PERSECUTE SOCIAL /HUMAN SERVICES , BECAUSE it is THEIR FAULT that this is HAPPENING !

Human Services is NOT supporting families with Autistic / Disabled children !

THEIR idea of support is EITHER taking AWAY the child/ children and putting them into a MENTAL INSTITUTION or offering programs that are supposed to CURE the child !

And when parents are looking for ACTUALL HELP , The Social Services say that there are NOT ENOUGH FUNDS available ( Yeah , RIGHT) and these DESPEREAT parents start NEGLECTING or KILLING their CHILDREN  , The POLICE  gets involved , Then Social Services  and THEN  the parents get FORGIVEN BECAUSE they are DESPERATE  and cannot get the HELP they NEED and CASE IS CLOSED :( !

The WORST problem is that these CHILDREN are NOT able to SPEAK UP for THEMSELVES / Get their VOICE heard BECAUSE their mouth is BEING SHUT  by SOCIETY  that sais :
PERSONS with AUTISM have AUTISM and are NOT capable of FUNCTIONING in our society ! .

Although we DO HAVE Autistic Self Advocacy , But UNFORTUNATELY we have a LONG way to GO tell Autistics will get heard ( KEEP ON FIGHTING , KEEP ON GETTING THE WORD OUT !)  .


Thank You for reading


DUSYA.


Sunday, April 7, 2013

Perspectives: The difference between EMPATHY And MINDFULNESS

Perspectives: The difference between EMPATHY And MINDFULNESS: Autistic people are being said NOT to have EMPATHY . Well ,  I will say Autistic people HAVE EMPATHY  but do not SHOW it the way MOST peop...

The difference between EMPATHY And MINDFULNESS

Autistic people are being said NOT to have EMPATHY .

Well ,  I will say Autistic people HAVE EMPATHY  but do not SHOW it the way MOST people would !

I will stop talking now about what I think and I will not advertise my opinions here either .

I will ONLY talk about my observations .

My observation is that we are PROBABLY confusing EMPATHY with MINDFULNESS meaning when we talk about empathy or complain that SOME people do not HAVE EMPATHY , I am starting to wonder if instead of saying these people have NO EMPATHY ; What some people actually mean is : These people are NOT MINDFUL !

I was present when two women were having a conversation and of them was complaining that The general population sais that Autistics do not have empathy and when she was pointing something out that some people did not comprehend  rhetorically she said then : And they say WE do not have empathy :( !

Some Autistic people  because of their brain difference are NOT able to be in a room where there is TOO MUCH noise / TV is EXTREEMLY loud , People talking loud because of all the noise around them etc....


Such an environment could be called " AUTISTIC  UNFRIENDLY "  If a person without a neurological difference were to be in such a room , xe would consider that whoever is responsible for the loud TV and all the people talking loud BECAUSE of the loud TV is NOT being MINDFUL !

I am going to go now MORE into details about mindfulness .

Being mindful JUST means common courtesy of your surrounding .

You go on a bus in the city and you will DEFINITELY discover that the buses are AUTISTIC UNFRIENDLY because people on the bus are talking loud to each other or into their phone or listening to loud music .

It is actually considered commonsense / courtesy not to do any of the above AND it is considered being MINDFUL of your surrounding .

So an Autistic individual will say that the bus is autistic unfriendly  and that the people on the bus have NO EMPATHY ! A person who was just raised to be considerate will say that the people on the bus are NOT MINDFUL !

So Autistic people because of their neurology CANNOT be in a loud room or be in the middle of a group that is having an INTENSE argument ! Can you blame Autistic people for not tolerating a HUGE amount of noise ?!  I do not think so :\ !

Most Autistic Adults do not tolerate people talking about Autism Speaks in a positive way because Autistic Adults do NOT believe that Autism Speaks is supportive and so Autistic adults just ask not to talk about Autism speaks , But most people who are NOT familiar with Autism will just look blunt at someone who sais : Please do not talk about Autism Speaks , I do not like them and I do not agree with them and I do not trust them !  So any individual who considers him or herself a considerate person could just say : OH ! I am sorry ! Do you mind if I ask WHY you are bothered by Autism Speaks ?  ( That is by the way called MINDFULNESS ! )  but NO ! They rather just look at you confused and walk away like nothing happened .

You see , Autistic people are mindful , Honest and considerate people who have empathy but show it by just standing there with a sad face or or offering you a hug or patting your arm or hand .

I have the feeling that most people have forgotten what MINDFULNESS is or consideration , But fortunately Autistic people have NOT forgotten and NEVER will .

Thank you for reading


DUSYA

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Perspectives: The DIFFERENCE between NORMAL ( NT"S ) and AUTIST...

Perspectives: The DIFFERENCE between NORMAL ( NT"S ) and AUTIST...: I have been observing Normal people and how they show empathy and emotions in general and I have been observing how Autistics show empathy...

The DIFFERENCE between NORMAL ( NT"S ) and AUTISTIC people

I have been observing Normal people and how they show empathy and emotions in general

and I have been observing how Autistics show empathy and emotions .

I have also observed how I myself sense empathy and emotions in general !

I admit that I used to be VERY confused about my OWN feelings and although I am getting to know myself better or maybe I should say ; UNDERSTAND myself better , I think I was observing others and their emotions to better understand my own ( This probably sounds STRANGE ?!) .

From conversations that I have had with a variety of people , I learned that if you do NOT understand your emotions then it is not ONLY OK but also NORMAL and that EVERYBODY goes through that cycle !

I want to talk about an experience that I had a few months ago and I will try to make it short !


I use to go to a group where ONLY women would be present and these women were normal  and I did my BEST to connect with them although I realize that there were only two women with whom I could relate to a certain degree because these women viewed the world similar to me meaning they had similar views about work , Role of women , Prejudice etc...

Once I got an e-mail from a woman who was not part of the group I went to but she was still part of our group ( If so to speak) and in the e-mail was a message about a little girl who was in the hospital due to a car accident !

Her parents were OK  but the girl was in a comma :( !

The e-mail was sent to all of the women in the group and I offered to send a GET WELL card .

I send the card to the neighbor and after a week we all got the e-mail that the little girl died !

I was DEVASTATED  !

I was so sad that I felt guilty and thought I maybe killed the little girl ( I get irrational when I am depressed or upset !)  .

A few weeks later I send an e-mail to one of my friends from the group and asked about the little girl and all she said was : Yeah , It is sad .

My thoughts to this respond was ; Is that ALL she can say to this tragedy :(  ?! .

A month later , I met the woman who send the e-mail about the little girl and I wanted to have a conversation with her and I thought we could share with each  other how we felt about this LOSS although we were not related to this child , But again the only respond I got from this woman was : Yes, It is awful isn"t it ?  and then she just left me with an opened mouth ( I was shocked ) .

So after this experience I was trying to understand WHY or what is the difference between US meaning why is it that normal people do not seem to to grieve or feel sadness and why was I CRYING after I heard of the girls death ? ! .

It is impossible to  say that normal people do not have emotions and I will NEVER say that anyway , But I was indeed puzzled !

Although I am STILL learning to understand emotions and although I know that there have been MILLIONS of books written on that topic ( Kind of ironic) , I have made  though an interesting observation  ( A LOT of people who know me fairly well say that I like watching people ;)  )

Normal people seem to show their empathy and emotions ( Like sadness ) by just saying ; That is SAD .

When Autistics feel emotions or empathy , Autistics ACTUALLY SHOW emotions by crying or having a temper tantrum or meltdown or being or just go MUTE for DAYS !

Today I also found out that if a normal person feels sadness and goes MUTE or cries then these people are sent to a PSYCHIATRIST , But if Autistics cry or go MUTE then somebody says : OH ! That person is AUTISTIC , him or her ALONE !

It seems that in our culture , If you feel like crying or screaming then you get sent to a psychiatrist then something is MENTALLY WRONG with you :( !


People have FORGOTTEN that crying , Feeling depressed , being sad is a part of BEING HUMAN

and I would say that if you do NOT have all the above emotions , THEN you DEFFINETELY need a psychiatrist !



Thank you for reading


DUSYA