Saturday, May 24, 2014

Our Society And It's Relationship To Emotions !

I am not sure or aware how people in NY , California or other U.S states relate to their emotions , But I see everyday in Massachusetts or more specifically in Boston that people either repress their emotions or pretend they that they do not have any feelings at all like as if they are robots !

I say this because it always puzzles me to see that people do not even acknowledge when they are happy or sad and I have indeed seen people getting sad or happy and in the next minute go on with their life like nothing happened .

Approximately 3 months ago In February I was graduating from a course in leadership and self advocacy and law and I was thinking about attending an additional workshop that was similar to the class I was graduating from , But was not completely the same in terms of that there was no focus on the law .

So I was not sure if I wanted to take the workshop but I was thinking about it and I got a phone call from one of the Secretarys who takes care of the payment of the course and asked me if I was ready to register and I told then the Secretary that I was not sure that I could make it in that month because I was graduating for another class 3 days earlier and the Secretary asked me then what the issue was .

So I repeated that I was graduating from my class just a few days before the workshop would start and the Secretary then seriously asked me again what the concern was !

I was totally perplexed ! I responded to the Secretary in saying ; Excuse me , I just said that I am graduating from my class just a few days earlier so I am not sure that I can start right after that a new class !  The said secretary was not comprehending why I did not feel ready to start a new workshop right after my graduation and that totally shocked me !

I did not have words so I said that I would call back later and finally she agreed . But my point is if I am graduating from a class how can anyone expect me or any other soon to be graduate to just go ahead and go to a new workshop ? !

I mean , I am graduating and I want to celebrate and enjoy life with family and friends ! I have no intention right after graduating to just go on with my life ! I am not a robot !

Or if someone gets married then the said couple should enjoy their new marriage and go on a honeymoon and not just get married and go back to work on the next day and say ; Hey , I am married , But oh well I have to have a meal on the table .

And the same with mourning ! Somebody dies and the family and friends should have time to grieve ! But no ! Nowadays appearantly , You go today to a funeral and the next day you go back to work like nothing happened !

I am sorry , But this does not make sense to me !

I can understand if you are telling a sick patient that everything will be alright , But telling a person who maybe got raped or anything similar worse that " Life happens" OK , Excuse me ! But I do not comprehend this at all !

I am not even sure when this emotion policing started ! Yes , I call this emotion policing because it seems to me that the society decides how people should perceive their emotions and or if they should acknowledge their emotions at all .

I am not sure , Maybe this started when people got more focused on using technology . No let me correct myself ! Maybe this started when people got more focused on work thanks to modern technology like using their laptops , Iphone and or smartphone at the same time like the work industry expects employees to be ready 24/7 and many employees need to be available for their boss on call and or 24/7 .

I really do not know . But it scares me !

I want to smile ! I want to be happy ! I want to be able to cry from happiness ! I want to be able to cry because I am sad !

I want to enjoy the moment of being with my family and friends ! These moments are precious human moments !

Being able to walk in the garden and enjoy the fresh breeze or look and admire the beautiful flowers .

I want to be aware and acknowledge and be in tune with my environment to appreciate mother nature !

Am I really asking too much ? !

Thank you for reading !

Dusya .

Friday, May 9, 2014

Non Autistic parents of Autistic children VS Autistuc parents of Autistic children

OK , Before I start I want make clear that I realize that for some people the title may sound strange because a lot of people cannot imagine that Autistic adults can also be parents . But I can assure these people that it is indeed possible as Albert Einstein was autistic and had 2 children ( I think) and there are plenty of other autistics out there who have children and people perceive them as simply being eccentric .

So now let me go to the actual topic .

Although there are many non autistic parents who welcome feedback from adult autistics to better understand their kid or children , There also plenty of non autistic parents who do not want to reach out to autistic adults or are afraid or feel uncomfortable ( At least this is what I am perceiving ) .

A young woman who represents the Autistic - Self - Advocacy of New England went to an event yesterday on The Boston Common that is called The ARC .

This woman met with an old friend who has a son who has Aspergers and they actually had a nice chat .

Later on this woman spoke to a man who has Aspergers and he was let me say it was obvious that he is on the Spectrum because he had a couple of traits of Aspergers and I do not really want to go into detail about this .

But anyway , This woman was talking to him and then met his mother and his sibling and the partner of the sibling . But to get the point out it was strange when this woman said that she represents ASAN ( Which is described above) .

I was strange because this woman did not any obvious traits that would instantly point to The Autism Spectrum !

And I probably should be asking actuall parents about this , But I am not sure yet how to articulate my question .

I just want to say I had suddenly the notion that maybe parents who do not reach out to Autistic adults that it is because when they see an adult who obviously functions better than their adult son / Daughter that they feel emotionally overwhelmed .

It is maybe like a slap in the face for them and especially a mother looks at a seemingly functional adult and asks herself " If that person is autistic , How come my child is not like that ? ! " and because it does not make sense the said parent will then not accept that the said adult is autistic and think that it is not true and be in denial ( For a lack of wording) .

The concept that each Autistic is different and an individual and every autistic person has a bit of another brain is just not easy to comprehend !

Many people have the notion of Autistics that they do constantly something innapropiate like make noises that are unnecessary and or just do things that are not considered " Normal" But people do not grasp that each autistic is different and that an autistic individual can maybe make strange noises during their child hood or teenage years , But when they grow older they stop or do something different and they do not understand that this is something that is called stimming .

I know for instance an autistic adult who rocks back and fort and people may find it strange , But it is simply a way of stimming meaning calming yourself down when you feel stressed .

I wish some parents would be willing to get more education regarding Autism and not just sit with what they learned out of school books .

I have to say that I am still processing this !

Thank you for reading